Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
