he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
