so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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