Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize