For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
