he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
