So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
