Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
