Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
