We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
