Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
