if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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