Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
