now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
