Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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