By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i need some magic done to my vagina
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
