R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think my vagina is haunted
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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