weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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