I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
