I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
