I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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