I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
