there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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