Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
