Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
