Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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