Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
