Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
