Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
