just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you had me at cake vodka
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
