I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
