Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
