I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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