A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
