Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
