Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
