I heard we made out
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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