That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
