awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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