At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
