I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
