sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
