he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
