why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
