he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Randomize
