I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
