is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
