Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
