You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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