Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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