i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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