drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
