I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
