so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
