I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
