Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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