i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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