He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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