mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just threw up on my dentist
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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