? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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