my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
