I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
