This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
