my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
