I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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