just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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