I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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