who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I believe in your delicious
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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