so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
