Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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