Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
