my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
