WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My dick has a subreddit
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
