next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
