I heard we made out
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
